Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen



The biggest bunfight in world history

No time for a proper blog today, but as you watch the wall-to-wall BBC/C4 coverage of the Copenhagen grandstandingfest, we wanted to make sure you've got the TPA's analysis of the costs in front of you (see TPA research note here, and Mail article here).

Overall, the direct cost to taxpayers is estimated at £130m. This comprises the travel, accommodation, food, and salary costs of the 15000 - yes, 15000 - government delegates who will be attending, plus the cost of the facilities and security.

In addition to those 15000, there will be 5000 media and up to 45000 warming activists in attendance. The BBC has sent an extraordinary 35 people - all at our expense - and in the case of UK activists, you can bet many of them will be in receipt of government funding in one form or another.

But the good news is that Copenhagen's prostitutes are offering their services for free on production of a conference pass. Prostitution is pefectly legal in Denmark, and according to Susanne Møller - spokesperson for the SIO (the Sex Workers Interest Group) - climate scientists will be given the warmest of warmist welcomes:

"If you have a lab coat and a hotel bar receipt, your emissions will be peer-reviewed at local brothels until Dec. 18."
Enjoy.

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Monday, December 7, 2009

You Heard It Here First.



The Nokia store that I criticised on this blog back in April and August of 2008 is to close.

In this report, it is claimed that the failure of the £4 million investment was because "the store may have proved a little “extravagant” in terms of cost". No, it was because you couldn't use the phones. And worse than that, it was just a store.

Addendum: The Apple store across the street continues to flourish, but I notice that the staff are getting a little more officious. I recently witnessed people being dissuaded from using computers to check their email because this is an "iphone activation area". Are they in danger of becoming just a store? Not yet.

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Looney Tunes



So after 12 years incinerating mountains of our cash, this high spending low performance "government"  wants to tell us it can be more efficient.

To be frank, I can't be bothered to read Brown's speech. In essence he's after the same headlines the Tories got months ago - a crackdown on public sector fatcat pay, cuts in top civil service jobs, and cuts in the use of consultants (yes, all these items were identified long ago by the TPA - which just goes to show what conviction and persistence can achieve).

On top of that, Brown reckons he can make savings from the "smarter use" of IT - even though none of his previous IT projects (like the now scrapped NHS supercomputer) have ever saved money. And finally he wheels out yet more of those preposterous Gershon "efficiency savings" - even though three-quarters of the previous savings were bogus (see previous posts eg here).

Oh yes, to make sure these savings don't result in worse public services, he's going to combine them with yet more citizen guarantees of good service. Job done.

Does he actually believe this garbage? And does he imagine we'll believe it? Not only is he a proven liar, but he is the very man directly responsible for the bloated public sector which now afflicts us. How can he possibly think we'll believe a word he says on efficiency?

Yes, of course, there is huge waste in the public sector: we have spent the last five years blogging that very subject. But there is absolutely no reason to think fresh orders from the top will change anything. The public sector has had 12 years of Labour's Stalinist management methods, and they are utterly discredited.

What we need is fundamental public sector reform. By which we mean what we've always meant - break up the monolith and introduce choice and competition. The money must be put directly into the hands of the customers, and the producers must compete for the customers' biz.

That is the only way we know that will both free frontline professionals to manage their own affairs, and  incentivise them to meet customer needs. No amount of citizen guarantees, online league tables, and unringfenced grants comes anywhere close to the simple power of the marketplace.

Sure, Brown will never wrap his socialist head around that.

But there's no excuse for Cam.

Meanwhile, with Rome well and truly in flames, and entirely at your expense, Brown's wife has thrown a Tweet party at No 10:

"Guests at the Downing Tweet Christmas Party were able to tweet about the event from a specially created ‘Tweetzone’ whilst they were entertained by singer Beverley Knight and ate mince pies adorned with the iconic Twitter bird."

Let them eat Twitter mince pies.

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Sunday, December 6, 2009

Behavioural Marketing.


Iain really liked this campaign and bracketed it with Burger King's Whopper Sacrifice. While I like it, it's not much more than a digital version of the traditional promotional competition. The key for me is that it's utilising technology rather than the behaviours related to that technology. It works but it's not new.

Social media and digital aren't inherently new behaviours, they're new technologies/ecosystems that facilitate existing behaviours. But where Burger King was really smart was in placing a new version of that behaviour - Facebook friending - at the centre of its interaction. A behaviour that hadn't existed without the technology.

Marketing is all about behaviour, but changing behaviour is really difficult to do. It's much smarter to adapt your marketing to existing behaviours in a way that gets the user to think about your product/service and perhaps become inclined to change another behaviour.

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Pre-Election Budget Report - Those Treasury Leaks In Full



BOM sources inside HM Treasury have smuggled out key passages from Wednesday's Pre-Budget Report. Quote:
  • Growth - due to unforeeable global circumstances entirely beyond the government's control, GDP this year may have fallen by somewhat more than the 2.75% decline forecast in April's Budget. But next year and forever after, growth will be much much stronger - the central estimate is now 7% pa, reflecting the fruits of the government's growth policies which were opposed every step of the way by the Old Etonians.
  • Spending - once again, public spending on vital frontline services will increase year-on-year - unlike the savage cuts planned by the Old Etonians. Wave after wave of Gershon efficiency savings will enable NHS waiting lists to be abolished, every child to have one-on-one personal tuition, and all our old people to spend their remaining years in the Dorchester Hotel. And to prove it, here are the figures: 3.1658, 3.1672, 3.2534, 4.6739, and 5.9912.
  • Tax - hard-working families will be rewarded with a new tax credit scheme, known as a Certificated Revenue Accrual Participation. This will bribe voters entitle hard-working families to a massive tax cut, encashable only if they vote for us at a date to be announced in the next budget. The CRAP will be financed by a new tax on super-rich Old Etonians.
  • Fiscal responsibility - as a result of the strong and sustained growth now in prospect, tax revenues are projected to increase at their fastest rate for a generation. The fiscal envelope will be stuffed as never before, and the National Debt will have been paid off in its entirety by 2015. There will be health, wealth and happiness for all. Except Old Etonians.
*****

So is this PBR in any sense a serious exercise?

The leaks say that there will be a public spending freeze. But what does that mean?

As you will recall, April's Budget incorporated spending cuts (the ones denied by liar Brown for so long), but there was no clue as to what they would be. They were just unspecified cuts. And from what Darling told his old school chum Mr Marr this morning, we will get no more detail this time. Darling reckoned he can't specify the detail because there's too much uncertainty just now. What self-serving piffle.

The only spending cut he was prepared to mention is BOM's old friend the NHS Supercomputer - the white elephant personally ordered by Bliar at an initial budget of £2.3bn, last estimated to cost £12.7bn, running years behind schedule, and not actually working (see numerous previous posts). Setting aside the obvious question of WTFFFFFFFFF they ever did it in the first place, scrapping it is sensible - when we looked into possible savings, we reckoned outright scrapping could still save us c £1bn pa each year up until 2015-16.

But apart from that, the rest is silence. Cam and Oz will be starting from scratch.

PS Pre-budget Treasury leaks (aka expectations management) are of course as old as time. Tyler himself was once involved in an official leaks enquiry when he worked at HMT. Funnily enough, they never did trace that one back to its obvious source just across the courtyard (see this blog).

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The Joke Is On You



A life of privilege 

In case you've never heard of him, comedian Marcus Brigstocke is yet another privileged public schoolboy* employed by the BBC. His routine comprises slagging off capitalism and the Evil Tories.

Among his other BBC jobs, he has a regular slot on R4's Now Show, a weekly 30 mins of "comedy sketches and satirical comments". And this week, after wittily describing John Redwood as a "glassy-eyed replicant MP",  he spent most of his slot having a go at the TaxPayers' Alliance (you can listen again here - 11 mins 50 secs in - HTP Bill Quango).

We needn't spend time quoting him, but essentially he says the TPA are evil anti-social racist pigs (complete with grunts and trotters).

Which is fine. Absolutely what guilt-ridden rich boy lefty comedians ought to be saying. And doubtless there's a market for it.

But please don't ask me to pay for it. I don't find Brigstocke remotely funny, and I wouldn't dream of paying to see him.

Unfortunately, the tax-funded BBC doesn't give me a choice. It forces me to pay the telly tax, and then uses a chunk of it to employ this dire big government "comedian". Not only that, but it also gives him a national platform to hector and insult the growing number of us who are sick of being ripped off to pay for things we just don't want. Like Brigstocke.

It's a joke all right. But not a very funny one.

We've said it before, and we'll say it again - roll on privatisation.

*Footnote: Brigstocke comes from the leafy glades of Guildford, just down the road from the Major. Born with a large silver object inserted into one or other of his orifices, he was educated at Westbourne House School (fees £12870 pa), King's Bruton (fees £24,711 pa - pic above), and Bristol University (notorious for its high public school count and its close career links to the BBC). And why is that relevant? Because Brigstocke had the privileges of wealth handed to him on a plate, yet now makes his living by decrying those who seek to create wealth for themselves. It sticks in my craw.

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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Flat Earthers And Assholes



OK, it's warmer... but why?

Two, ahem, thoughtful contributions to the climate debate yesterday:

"With only days to go before Copenhagen, we mustn't be distracted by the behind-the-times, anti-science, flat-earth climate sceptics. We know the science. We know what we must do. We must now act." (Mr G Brown, a public employee with a direct career interest in extending the role of the state)

"What an asshole." (Professor Andrew Watson, a public employee with a direct career interest in extending the role of climate scientists)

Now, many of us would agree with Professor Watson's description applied to Mr B. Except of course, he wasn't describing Mr B: he'd hardly bite the hand that feeds.

No, the Prof - who is something senior at the University of East Anglia's utterly discredited Climategate Research Unit - was describing a fellow Newsnight discussant who had the temerity to challenge his views. Poor Martha hardly knew where to look (you can watch again here - at least for the next 48 hours)*.

As others have pointed out, once they start playing the man not the ball, you know they've lost. Climategate has crystallised the entire issue.

Because it turns out that these blinkered arrogant.... er... assholes have cobbled together hundreds of years of supposed temperature data from Irish pixie rings, crunched the data through a battery of computer models so convoluted they themselves can't remember precisely how they worked, and then presented the results as incontrovertible science. "Science" that has been embraced by big government types worldwide to justify a further massive increase in taxation, regulation, and jobs for the boys.

And as the scales drop from the public's eyes, all these assorted tax-dependents can come up with is that if we won't take their word for it, we must be behind-the-times, anti-science, flat-earthers. Like, we should trust them because they have always been as pure as the driven snow... not that we'll have snow much longer.

So what's the truth, and can we handle it?

The story most of us have finally pieced together goes something like this:

The earth's climate has warmed a bit over the last few decades, although the warming seems to have stopped in 1998. There is no robust scientific explanation of why this has happened, which is hardly surprising given the complexity of the global climate system. Moreover, data on long-term climate change is extremely sketchy, although we do know that there has been considerable variation in the UK's climate over the last couple of millennia (from vineyards to ice fairs on the Thames, and back again).

So what should we be doing?

Given the uncertainty over the basic climate data, we're not at all clear we should be doing anything.

But even if we accept that the climate is warming, nobody has yet convinced us it's mainly down to our activities. The official line is that the link has been proved, but the people who say that have never presented the evidence in an open and transparent form that we can examine for ourselves. They simply assert it, present a load of hyped up exaggerated garbage like Gore's lamentable film, and rant hysterically at anyone who dares to question their authority.

But that's simply not good enough. It's not good enough for Brown and Miliband to close down debate by telling me and 60% of the UK population that we're flat-earthers. It's not good enough for them to tell us we have to go on with the green taxes and all the rest just because the world is warming. If the world is warming for natural rather than manmade reasons, making ourselves poorer by stifling our economy is not going to help - on the contrary, it will render us much less able to afford the costs of adaptation.

I want to be convinced. I want to see the actual evidence and be taken through how the models actually work. I want to understand the doubts and uncertainties, and I want to hear from both sides of the debate. And no, I'm not a climate scientist or even a scientist. But I do consider myself to be of at least average intelligence, and I do know a reasonable amount about number crunching and statistical models. And I do want to know.

So why can't the BBC do that for me? And not yet more spin from their in-house propagandists, but a sensible old-style BBC series with half of the progs presented by a sceptical specialist (Mrs T and I nominate Prof Stott).

*PS Yes, we realise Newsnight chose their climate sceptic to face Prof Watson with extreme care, in order to present all sceptics as excitable non-scientists. We are all aware by now that the BBC's editorial position on climate change is that of green propagandists. BOM correspondent NN suffered a seizure while watching a BBC news report on Wednesday about salt traders in Timbuktu. According to the report - a NEWS report note - said traders have apparently had to swap their transport camels for great big climate destroying trucks, because global warming has made the camels too tired and thirsty to do the work (well there is also the small matter of the always biddable truck being able to haul in one week what it takes the moody camels seven to achieve, but the real villain is definitely global warming). After a strong dose of smelling salts, NN emailed - "They sent a sodding reporter and camera crew and translator to sodding Timbuktu for this garbage. By camel? I would be willing to wager that they flew in a nice shiny aeroplane and then carted all their gear on one of the very same evil trucks that cause climate change. At least I hope so. The thought of BBC reporters earning 45 days of per diems while lugging their crap around on 1st century technology is truly alarming. What could have been a really good example of creative destruction and new technologies replacing old for the good of all involved becomes a truly loopy example of green non-thought. And spare a thought for the Tuareg salt-trader. Who wouldn't rather spend 45 days in blistering heat and thirst with a load of wheezing camels than seven days in an air-conditioned truck listening to Timbuktu FM. Of course it was climate change what done it. Aaaaargh. I think I need to leave the country to escape the madness, - by horse." We may join him.

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